I really don't.
I've been spending a lot of the last month in top and skirt. For the first two or three weeks, I was still organising things but I wore fitted or stretchy camisoles under my top, and put in my foam forms. I wanted to get used to the shape, my silhouette, my image in the mirror. My goal was to make that the norm. Why? I don't know that either. I'm not going full-time, but I do know that I need to be as comfortable with my (girl) body as possible when going out. Discomfort equals getting caught. Calm confidence is a big part of passing. Banging your boobs into everything is not something that a blending woman would do.
After a couple of weeks, I added a cinch to my wardrobe. Unlike the forms, I left the cinch (or a cinch) on all the time. I checked myself in the mirror to make sure it didn't show, and I'd even wear it to work. My nighttime wardrobe is all girl ~ panties, nightgown, cinch, bra, and foam forms.
Starting some time in my third week I pulled out a bra I liked and started wearing that, mostly just with the foam forms but sometimes with my favourite silicone forms. After I got my jewelry box, I'd pull out a pair of earrings every so often and see if I can wear them for long periods of time comfortably. This was not a daily activity because sometimes it takes a while for earlobes to recover from bad clip-ons.
I'd also pull out a different pair of shoes every so often. I should have been more religious about wearing them and tried a pair a day. I do want to get rid of shoes I can't wear. I need to make room for shoes I can wear!
So what's next? I've been on my own for five weeks and not gone out. Does that mean I've settled into an "indoor" girl? I haven't worn a wig or full makeup in those five weeks. I have been shaving, but I haven't been a fanatic about it.
Hmmm.... That's all "what's next" from the point of view of the day I moved out. I'll prognosticate tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
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Maybe because you can be Meg at home, at leisure, as much as you wish, then you don't need to go out to be Meg. In your position I woudl be very tempted to get my ears pierced
ReplyDeleteMeg -
ReplyDeleteSome quick, off the cuff thoughts before I rush to work....
First, you're at the point where you're incorporating the "Girl Image" into the core pare of who you are. You're progressing to a point where both images will be equally comfortable for you, and that you'll have full confidence in either presentation.
Second, you want to more of a female shape to your body. This is interesting. But is related to the first point. Your Girl clothes will hang noticably better if you have more of a feminine waist and hips. (You can see why I prefer to wear dresses and long tunic tops over skirts - I like to hide my lack of a feminine waist.)
Third, with clip ons, you are hedging your bets (as I am as well). Neither of us is ready for the permanent effects of noticable body modification. And, like you, I'd go nuts adding to my jewelery chest if I had pierced earrings.
Fourth, with shoes, you're rationalizing (as in simplifying) what you own. This is very healthy, as you're more down the road of developing a core wardrobe than I am.
And last, I don't think you've settled into being an indoor girl. Instead, you've focused on other more pressing tasks at hand. You'll go out when you want - and you'll feel very comfortable doing so.
Marian
It seems like there are two dynamics going on. First it may be a long exhale as you get used to the freedom of living on your own and dressing as you choose around your apartment. Living home with your wife you were always splitting your attention. Part of you may have felt like being in a bra, cinch, top and skirt while another part of you just could not find a way to explain why you wanted to wear these clothes to your wife...let along the issue of dressing in a house you share with your children.
ReplyDeleteThe other dynamic is that now that you have a bit more freedom you need to get used to deciding how you want to avail yourself of the opportunities that this level of freedom affords.
On the other hand...there is a lot of work in setting up a new place to live and between that, your job, your ongoing obligations to your wife and kids and everything else in your life your time to ferret out what you want to do as Meg and when you can do it is limited.
Pat
Meg-
ReplyDeleteThank you for your posts. Sounds like you are having a good time with the dressing anyway! Can imagine other parts are tougher. I'd be doing the same... and it sounds so fun, so liberating that you are able to do this dressing! And, your point about just feeling *comfortable* seems spot on, as a confidence builder as you progress.
I've had to laugh at your comments, hon, about worrying about buying too much jewelry if you got your ears pierced... and, being careful with the clip-ons!! :D Yes, especially the warning to be careful about the clip-ons!
Hug, Sara