Thursday, November 29, 2012

Meeting With Marian, Part II

I forgot to link to Marian's side of the story.  You should take a look at her blog, Crossing T's and Dotting I'sThe link goes to the first day of her visit to DC.  I magically appear on day 2. :)

The plan was to meet Marian at 9.  I was actually a few minutes early, but I wasn't sure exactly which hotel was hers.  I found a hotel that had a big sign on the side: HOTEL.  I parked out front and decided that wasn't it and parked a couple of blocks further down.  I didn't see any other... I admit I was trying to finish that sentence with a different word for "hotel," something more interesting so I looked on and found, among other words, dump, fleabag, and flophouse.

I didn't see any other traveller accommodations, so I walked back to the HOTEL and, sure enough, that was it.  And it was 9 on the dot.

We had breakfast and chatted a bit.  Marian is a Noo Yawka who went to the same high school as I did, although I think we were a year or two apart.

Marian and Tammy and a great view!
After breakfast, I wanted to refresh my lipstick and use a private bathroom so we went up to Marian's room for a minute.  Marian sought out Tammy, a chambermaid who Marian sort of came out to the day before.  Tammy LOVED Marian, and gushed over how great she looked.  A little of that overflowed onto me, which was nice.  People like Tammy give me hope that maybe there won't be any more Transgender Day of Remembrances some day.  Some day.

And don't they look comfortable together?  That's Marian's magic passing superpower ~ she just looks and acts perfect.

We drove to the Newseum, wandered the building, and I solved a mystery.  The Newseum was not very crowded so I was a bit more comfortable with going into the ladies' room.  I figured my chances of meeting someone was low, and, as Marian pointed out, if the door opens I could just duck into a stall. 

Meg and an infinite number of Marians
The mystery: in the men's room, some wall tiles are replaced by badly-phrased news headlines or just plain weird story bits or corrections.  When I was there (in drab with a civilian) several months ago we wondered if there were different tiles in the ladies' room.  It turns out they're the same.  It also turns out they collected them into a book, "Correct Me If I'm Wrong" which I bought for my friend.  I also e-mailed him and told him I solved the mystery ~ he knows about Meg, but he expressed no curiosity about how I found out.  I think he knew and didn't want to really know.


  1. Meg:
    Great to hear the story of Marian and your trip to the Newseum. Your adventure venturing into the ladies restroom, and the resulting photo proving same, gives hope to the rest of the girls like me who may venture out, but who still have bathroom phobia (unless a single occupant room). The great news for all is that Washington, DC, has a municipal rule (code) that allows us to use the restroom of our apparent gender (whatever matches how you present). You may be hassled by some other users (can you say 'tourist'), but we can't be arrested for going in and taking care of our common personal needs.

    You both look very happy in the photos, and supremely passable. Keep going, girl.


  2. That looks like fun! Glad you had a good time!



  3. Rhonda -

    Many cities have similar ordinances. I'm glad you pointed that one out for DC, as I know people who are a little uncomfortable going to the loo when en-femme. As for me, I go in (get on line, if needed), go in a stall to do my business, wash my hands, and then leave.... No one has ever given me a hard time, and I doubt they ever will....


  4. Meg -

    Thanks for the compliment! I still work at passing. The more I go out en-femme, the better I get. Yesterday, I was shopping for some costume jewelery at Kohl's, and a lady stopped to ask me what I thought of some awful item. I tastefully said that it would have to be worn with the right outfit (true). A second later, I realized that the woman was asking a question to establish a rapport, to bond, share an experience, with information gathering taking a lower priority. So I responded with some phrase, and we chatted for a few minutes.

    As one can guess, learning feminine forms of conversation is an essential part of "passing". I highly recommend a book by Deborah Tannen - "You just don't understand" for an understanding of the differences in men and women's conversation patterns. No matter how perfect one's appearance is, one needs to master communication skills to truly pass....

    Last night, I was talking to an ex-girlfriend and her husband about my feminine side. The topic of my transgendered nature was front and center for a good part of the evening. It was a great conversation, with them asking questions, and me answering them. I started to point out a lot of things different between conversation styles, and my ex-girlfriend was nodding strongly in agreement with every point I made. I'll bet that it was a real eye opener to her husband! I wonder if in the back of their minds that I will become a better (non romantic) girlfriend to her than I ever was as a (romantic) boyfriend....



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