Friday, September 2, 2011


As I said yesterday, I don't do risky things.  I consider cosmetic and elective surgery in that category.

I would like to be more feminine.  I'd like to "fix" what's not.

I see ads touting laser eye surgery with "wouldn't you love to wake up and see without putting your glasses on?"  Yes I would.  But I'd rather wake up and not have to shave a single hair.

So what sort of surgery would I want, if I could have it painlessly and without risk (and free would be nice too, as long as I'm visiting fantasyland)?

Here's my short list, along with why I wouldn't actually get it.

Voice: Either a laryngoplasty or Cricothyroid Approximation or something else my research hasn't uncovered.  I think my voice, as Meg, is a giveaway.  There are ways to train your voice, but I haven't been successful at any (or maybe I've not been persistent enough and I should keep trying).  The obvious downside: I'll have a higher voice All The Time.  I wouldn't consider shaving my Adam's Apple essential (and that's face feminisation anyway).

laser hair removal: it's common enough, and it doesn't entail a lot of risk (or expense), but it is very time consuming and it doesn't work on lighter-coloured hair.  The last time I grew a beard (YEARS ago), it came in in every shade imaginable: red, brown, blonde, grey, white.  I don't think the laser would be satisfactory.  Electrolysis is not very permanent and very time consuming.  I don't know anything about the "home laser" kits.  (Updated to remove the "not very".  Electrolysis, if done correctly, is forever.  Laser, not so much.)

face feminisation: this covers a variety of things and to all I say "no thank you."  Again, it means looking femme all the time, which... I wouldn't mind, really.  It would mean I don't need makeup in order to be Meg.  But... no.  You can see before-and-afters in a variety of sites like this and here and here.  Would I like to look like a woman All The Time?  Yes.  But, sadly, I can't, and I won't.

breast augmentation: it's actually not hard to find a surgeon who will do breast augmentation for a male (like this guy).  I think this is something many of us dream about.  We still want to be ourselves, but wouldn't it be wonderful to not have to stuff a bra every time you want to go out?  To know what it feels like to "own your own?"  Of course, the problem is, you have them All The Time.  I think I'd end up spending much of my time hiding them.  Maybe not.  Maybe that would be the thing that made me come so far out of the closet I'd only go back for a change of a dress.

Notice genital surgery is not on the list.

Here's my theory: for transsexuals, the important thing is self-image.  "I am a woman, yet my body mocks me by being male."  It should probably be called "genital alignment surgery," not "reassignment."

For transvestites, the important thing is how we look to the world.  I don't want to be a woman (although, given the option, I'd be happy to be one), but I want the world to see me as one.  I want to see a woman when I look in the mirror.  I want to look at my hands when I'm typing and see a bracelet and feminine rings and painted nails.  Seeing myself in the bathroom is less important.  I want to be as pretty as I can be, and know that I look better than I did when I woke up that drab morning.

External vs internal.  Although sometimes, I'd like to, um, fit my clothes better.  I have more than one skirt that fits like a glove.  In fact, I can even look down and see a finger!   And it goes in the swap bin.  And it seems the prettiest, sexiest skirts are just a tad too tight for a male body.  Would I like to wear a bikini?  Yes.  The price is too high, and it's not that important.

I'll keep trying to speak more femininely.  I'll shave and epilate and depilitate.  I'll do what I can with makeup.  But I'd really like to know what it's like to fill a bra without help.

This is getting kind of lengthy.  More about this tomorrow.


  1. What male range is your voice in--tenor, baritone, bass? I have a second tenor/baritone voice and I tend to speak in my tenor range (except when I get on a microphone, then I drop to the baritones), and I find if go a little "breathy" it tends to sound pretty feminine. In fact, sometimes I'm mistaken for a woman on the phone.

    The problem I see with facial feminization is that they either don't look that much better or they look totally fake. (and the "after" shots in your second link are all "glamour" photography which can make almost anybody look good).

  2. Actually, electrolysis is permanent, more so than laser. It is painful and time consuming (200-300 hours typically).

  3. I'm with you Meg. While I'd love to look more feminine, having to go through more or less major surgery, with the results not guaranteed? It's not for me. Now getting some help filling the bra would be OK. As for the rest of it, no thank you. To me it's what you feel on the inside that makes the difference!

  4. Dani ~ I have no idea what range my voice is. And, despite my best efforts, I've never been "ma'am'd" on the phone.

    And anon ~ You Are, of course, Right. I had my brain on backwards when I wrote that. Update is necessary!

  5. Hmmm...I guess, being an actor and announcer, I've always known what my vocal range is. Try this--can you sing along to most pop tunes sung by a male without straining for the top notes? Or straining for the bottom notes?


  6. Please be careful about shaving vocal chords. I have had 3 surgeries to fix mine (cancer) and the larynx is an extraordinarily complex mechanism.

    The vocal chords are multipurpose: they also are the infamous "flap" that keeps food and water out of the lungs while eating. Even minor scar tissue can interfere with swallowing and inhaling (and mix up the two). Too much liquid in the lungs is "drowning" :) Too many food particles also cause the lungs severe problems.

    Just a cautionary tale from one who has been thru vocal chord surgeries.


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