sunlight. I'm not a big enough celebrity to let people see through my skirt so I put on a slip. I've found in the past that a half-slip and lining and skirt get in each others' way, so I opted for a full slip. Parts of me were under five layers of fabric but the layers were still light and comfortable. That's good: it was over 90 that day and a little warm in the house.
Foreground: Meg, C, D, and Cards Against Humanity |
People were sitting around the dining/living room arguing about the fine points of some science fiction show I wasn't familiar with. We joined in when appropriate and introduced ourselves to whoever was nearby or coming in. One guy, D, came in wearing a Queens College sweatshirt. I asked if that was his alma mater (since it was mine) and it was. He lived even closer to the college than I did. It turned out we had other things in common and we joined him and a woman, C, who came in with someone we had played games with at other game nights. Charity, D, and C all had played Settlers of Catan and there was a Star Trek version that D wanted to play. It turns out the game isn't that difficult but depends on a bit of luck and the dice didn't like me much that night. I started catching up near the end of the game but finished in a solid fourth place.
We were looking for a quick game and someone had laid out several decks of Cards Against Humanity, a suggestive if not downright dirty game. The idea is, each player in turn pulls out a black card which has a sentence with one or two blanks and you have to pull out one (or two) white cards from your hand to match the blanks. "Match" is loose ~ the player who chose the black card picks the best white card, and best might be funniest, most random, best fit... whatever the player decides. So it's a fun and funny game. We started with the same four players and two more guys joined at different points. No-one was very serious about winning and losing (but when we left, I was tied with C. I kept telling the other players "I'm pretty funny". By the end, they agreed).
We had fun, met a lot of people, not one who minded or cared about or noticed (yeah, right) how I was presenting. In fact, Charity and I were relative newcomers, and C was brand new, and I didn't see a difference between how I was treated and how they were treated.
Four other little notes:
* pronouns and such were always appropriate, although I thought I heard D refer to me as "he" at one point, but I might have misunderstood. It was all "ladies" or "girls" or "guys" (hey, I do that too) and "she" and "her." No prompting necessary, ever.
* as we were leaving, we stopped in the kitchen where a woman in her 20s and an older guy were playing blitz (speed chess). I stopped to watch ~ I can't resist a chess game. The guy had good position but made a couple of unforced errors and he lost the game. But the players in the other room thought we had left so I had a few "fly on the wall" moments. I heard my name mentioned, but in relation to the games and wondering if I had gone out with some of the other gamers. Nothing was said that couldn't be said to my face, nothing about my being, um, a bit out of place, or anything that implied I wasn't just another girl gamer. We (girl gamers) made up maybe a quarter of the group.
* after the chess game, I spoke with the players briefly and the woman, looked at me and out of the blue said "you have beautiful eyes." I said "thank you. My parents made them for me." Little things like that make my day. (The compliment, not the eyes.)
* the next day, I found that several gamers (including the woman in the kitchen) sent me a "good to see you" (kind of a meetup "like") after the game.
Bottom line: if you haven't been out, go out! There's a world out there that doesn't mind if you want to be yourself.
do you present with a fem voice?
ReplyDeleteI do not, but I speak softly and I am working on improving my voice. I consider my voice my giveaway ~ in case anyone's unsure.
ReplyDeleteI noticed my voice gets less girl as the evening goes on. :(
ohhhh i love that skirt!
ReplyDeletethe vocal chords are a mussel and like any other mussel they get stronger with use but preferable not overused.
in the beginning i spoke softer and made everyone ask me to repeat if need be what i said LOL
but being a "chatter box" (i have been described as effervescent LOL) i have gradually strengthened my fem voice and can pretty much "turn it on and off" as needed. but after using it for awhile occasionally i have a bit of a challenge in turning it off and slip in and out of it with people i know real well.