* perhaps we're more insecure and we project that as critical of others.
* or maybe we subconsciously compare and we compliment those who pass better or are wearing something we'd like to wear, or something we think we'd look good in.
* or possibly it's not something we think about so we don't do it.
But Mort Walker is right: there is a lot to compliment in the World Of Women, not so much in the World Of Men, where everyone wears pretty much the same thing (and that's in the business and leisure world, not just the army). As a man, I try to limit my compliments. I'm sure the line between compliments and creepy is a fine one ~ if I told the office fashionista how much I loved her outfits every day she'd climb over the cube walls when she saw me coming.
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I always get a smile when I tell a woman at work I like her new hairstyle or color. (We wear uniforms, so the opportunity to compliment an outfit doesn't come up.)
ReplyDeleteIt's also a matter of personal values. Women can compliment each other on their appearance because women *care* about their appearance. Most men (including me) are completely oblivious to appearance, beyond their desire for an attractive mate. So if you wanted to please a (typical) guy with a compliment, you'd have to praise a skill or trait he does value.
ReplyDelete"Awesome 4Runner, Carl. Did you get it waxed this weekend? Looks great!"
"Whoa, check out Lenny's new AR-15!"
etc.
I mean, I *like* wearing pretty dresses, but even I'd be uncomfortable if somebody complimented me on my appearance.
Ralph,
ReplyDeleteThe first couple of times someone complimented me I was nonplussed. I think guys aren't taught what to do but it's not that hard.
Now I say "thank you." And I offer compliments first ~ often on clothing or jewelry or sometimes a "fabulous outfit!"
Thank you for clearing up some 'doh' moments for me.
ReplyDeleteAs you know most of my outings are to LGBT friendly safe places. On several occasions when I get involved in chats with GGs I will almost always get a compliment from one of the GGs either on my dress, shoes and last time out was on a very modest necklace. I think that I need to start complimenting the GGs that I see when I am out and about while dressed.
Pat