Even with the boys away, I haven't had an opportunity for Meg to make an entrance (or exit into the world of civilians). I had a little free time on Tuesday and did some laundry. Well, of course, the easiest way to wash everything would be to change into something from Meg's side of the closet. It was just a blouse and skirt, but even that makes a big difference in how I feel. Even organising the guest area and cleaning up the bathroom for my weekend houseguest is more pleasant that way.
During the week, my wife usually gets on her computer until midnight or 1AM. I try to get up early and I'm in bed by 11. When it got close to (my) bedtime, I told her that I was going to take advantage of the boys' absence and wear a nightgown to bed. I told her I'd stay in the guest room, if she'd prefer. Her less-than-enthusiastic response is the subject of this post.
Wednesday, I did the same but without mentioning it in advance. She said nothing either time. I made a point of not showing up downstairs where she was after my shower.
Unless something else is going on at bedtime tonight, I'll repeat.
My wife has been hedging about whether she'll be out tonight or not, and for how long. Meg may make a full appearance tonight. I've been prepping for the past few days, just in case. I'd like to go out shopping, but even a couple of hours around the house will be nice.
As I said, I've been prepping. The weekend will be shorts weather; I'll explain hairless arms and legs if necessary. If I'm asked, that is. I won't bring attention to it, but I won't tell stories either.
Update: my wife will not be working late.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
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The very familiar world of grudging acceptance and plausible deniability.
ReplyDeleteHaving a CD husband is something that many women prefer not to speak about and will only tangentially acknowledge.
Many CDs on the other hand will finde every reason, excuse and justification to dress, in whole or in part and to talk about it or write about it as much as possible.
Pat
How would you explain hairless arms?
ReplyDeleteI have seen some male acqaintances
with hairless legs and just ignored it. Hairless arms seem harder to ignore. Bill
Wow. Looks like you're going to get that divorce you're bucking for, sooner rather than later.
ReplyDeleteSleeping in another room in a nightgown with her in the next room? Shaving your arms in the summer? Asking your wife to let you dress up and attend her spiritual book club?
Wow.
You can fool yourself with your self-centered justifications and hollow promises to tell the truth "if asked." After all, your kids weren't there, and you did offer to sleep in the guest room "if she preferred." So that makes it all okay. Right?
Her "grudging acceptance," which Pat put so concisely, is quickly turning into gnawing resentment. And she will reach a point where even keeping the family whole for the kids' sake won't be enough to keep her from wanting out.
Then you'll have plenty of time to dress up--in your apartment.
How do I know? It happened to me.
My ex-wife knew what I was doing too, and I justified my actions, rather easily. I felt it was owed to me to dress up, so I did--with little regard to how she felt. Her tolerance eventually turned to anger, resentment and hatred, all of it deserved.
You've got a chance to save yourself and your wife that pain.If you care about your family, about your marriage, you'll come to an arrangement with your wife about dressing up.
And you'll be an open book about it.
I mean, do you let her read your blog? If not, why not?
Because I'd be very surprised if she puts up with you sleeping in another room in a nightie with shaved arms and legs for too much longer.
The crossdressing isn't the real problem. It's how she feels about it,how it impacts her and your lack of interest in her feelings.
I am Worried you are going to fast with your wife - I had to pull back at home as Diane. Out as Diane is easier for her Diane
ReplyDeleteI can't agree with the last two posts.
ReplyDeleteWhile it is true that your wife may get angry with you for dressing while your boys are away, he also knows that your dressing times have been limited and that you have never dressed in front of them except on halloween. While they might have an inkling, they don't know and they might not even care.
It is your wife that has the issue and she should try to accommodate you as much as you accommodate her. If she can't handle it, then she might seek divorce but I think that she should respect a part of you. As a patner in a relationship, you don't always like every character trait of your partner.
I wonder what it is your wife is doing on the computer until those late hours?
ReplyDeleteAnon ~ I don't check up on my wife. I know her passwords (I set up her accounts) but I trust her. I believe she trusts me.
ReplyDeleteAnd to all of you: I am sincerely moved by how much you all care. Thank you all.