I think "not much of a story" is a good thing. It means acceptance. It's also dull, but maybe that's a good thing too.
Her cubicle is more isolated than mine, so I went there. I pulled up a picture viewer and she proceeded to critique my outfits, wigs, shoes. She asked where I go, and I said mostly shopping and told her a couple of short stories. I told her my clothing swap story, and how I had to get the repair guy to fix my car while I was all dressed up. I also sent her a picture of me at the swap. The other pictures stayed with me on my flash, but I e-mailed her this one.
Pat ~ as you pointed out in your comment, yes, I've added her to my small circle of Women Who Know. The picture (and others) is available on the internet, but she wouldn't know where to look for it if I hadn't sent it to her. Yes, she might forward it to people who I wouldn't tell, or post it on her facebook page with my male name. That's always a risk when you trust another person.
I also pointed out that my socks have a flower pattern on them, and my shirt is a women's shirt (worn deliberately today).
When she asked "who did your makeup?" after one picture, I told her I did it and one reason I had MAC do it when I came in for Halloween was, it would have been kind of a giveaway if I did it myself. Yes, I owe y'all that story. I pointed out a couple of photos where I had my makeup done by others.
As usual, the act is less stressful than the "what if"s and the planning. I wasn't nervous at all (in spite of my terrified comment yesterday) and I wish everyone I told Meg about would react like she did. I bet if I asked her if we could go shopping together, she'd say "when?".
I also told her that, when I leave the company, I'll tell her about another place I went dressed. I really want to keep my flying pretty adventure a secret from the office. It's for my friends only.
Later, her and one of the other women here were walking out from my side of the building (they work in the other side, alas) and she said "we're going out onto the patio for some girl talk. Wanna come?" I was late for a meeting, and saying "no" was one of the hardest things I've ever done.
Meg,
ReplyDeleteThis is a great story. What makes it a total gem is the matter of fact nature of the event. The most important thing for any person is to feel comfortable in their own skin. For those of us in the CD community we are faced with the duality of who we really perceive ourselves as being.
Dressing is more than a hobby. It is an affirmation of a core element of our inner selves. We suffer from the inability to reconcile that part of our inner self with the outward trappings of our typical 'known' personna. We need our dress time to affirm our inner selves.
Meg, this blog entry is anything but 'dull'. It documents a major achievement. It is the acknowledgement of accpetance. Your discourse with your co-worker advances the cause for all of us. Every time we open the eyes of another we spread the good news.
I sense that you are a good judge of character and would not have come out to this woman without a certain feeling of safety and concern for yourself, your job and your family. I trust that she will keep your confidence.
It is also likely that from time to time your new friend will spread the good word about this wonderful CD that she knows. The topic arises from time to time outside our community. Often derogatory statements are made about guys in dresses. Having this woman out in the world to redirect these comments helps us all. In all of her future encounters she will carry with her the memory of her friendship with you and her new found knowledge that guys who wear dresses are often good, decent, honorable, funny, regular, next door neighbor types... rather than the crass characterizations that are often made about us. You have done a mitzvah for us all.
Finally, your future encounters with this woman will have an interesting and intriguing dual nature. Her "girl talk" comment was fully loaded in many ways. It was a semi-public acknowledgment of acceptance. It will serve as a future signal of confidientality. It is sort of like you and she are the only ones in the room with the 'secred decoder ring'. Future, seemingly innocent, comments may be laced with dual meanings that will bring a secret smile and inner warmth to each of you.
Don't be so quick to put yourself down. This entry and this encounter was a very big deal. You make me kvell.
Regards
Pat