Before going to a gaming party at Star's, I wrote about being a bit apprehensive about going there. She invited about a dozen people over, including a couple of kids. That's really all I knew. I didn't know if they were civilians, t, or a mix. I didn't know if her partner would be there in male or female mode.
We went to Star's to game once before. It was just the four of us, and Charity and I met Andrea for the first time there. This time, she was going to have several people over. I didn't know if they'd be civilians, if they were t-friends, or a mix. I didn't even know if they were new friends, or old friends. And, although I was told I was welcome as Meg or male, I did not consider drab an option. I don't like to mix modes, and I won't if I can avoid it. Note: sometimes, it's not avoidable ~ I'll write about that in a few days.
Plus, I'm never the most socially natural person in the room. So I was a bit stressed. Not enough to not go, and since it wasn't a mandatory event that was something.
As I said, I trust Star, which says a lot. I'm normally suspicious. On the path from naive to paranoid, I'd position myself at "careful."
Star commented on that post. She reassured me and wrote, "everyone, including the kids, met both Andrea and his male self. One gamer is post-op." I paraphrase.
It turns out she was right.
Before knowing what I was getting myself in for, I decided that if it was all T, Star wouldn't have suggested I go in drab. So I went for a casual look. I figured even a skirt would be a bit much, but, well, I had to be Meg. I purchased a glittery purple top a while back but I had never worn it out. The skirt was one I had worn in Arizona last January. Makeup by Charity, and she gave me a purple palette to go with my top. I wore a necklace I bought in Old Town Alexandria in December. I added a couple of bangles and my high-heel patent Maryjanes and I was ready to go.
Charity wore a short denim skirt, a print top and cute boots. She found a bakery that made the Biggest Twist Pretzel In The World and brought that, along with some homemade dips for it.
And by that time, the calm and pleasure of stepping out into the world again overruled any concerns I had.
Meg -
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how we can be accepted, when we are in the modes we're most comfortable in.... You are very lucky to have found Star and Andrea - they seem like a great couple.
M
I like the outfit. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteNice outfit, I like that top. I agree with you about not mixing modes,it can create confusion, and somehow just doesn't seem polite.
ReplyDeletePaula -
ReplyDeleteIf Meg had mixed modes with Star and Andrea's place, it would have been the one time I know Meg would have been OK - I looked at link's to Star's sites, and they seem like one loving, and accepting family. But your point is well made.
I have friends who know me in both modes, and they have a hard time staying in sync with the mode I'm presenting myself in. For example, if I'm en-femme, these friends will occasionally slip up - as they know me first en-homme. Meg runs that risk as well - and by staying in Meg mode with people who only know her as Meg, she lessens the risk of accidental use of the wrong pronoun when there could be trouble.
I could go on and on, but it is an interesting subject for an entry on my blog, which I might just do tonight....
M