Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Open The Door Richard ~ Sometimes There Is Disappointment

L, who was at both the rally in DC (with Meg) and at the burial, is a casual friend.  She's an old friend of my wife.  She's a therapist and yoga instructor and we talk more when she needs computer help than any other time, although we had a good chat when she came down for the rally.  While walking through DC that day, my friend P was a bit anxious about where to go to find a good spot at the rally, and he walked ahead.  I kidded about him "leaving the girls behind."

But L is basically my wife's friend.

As I mentioned, I wanted to talk to her after the luncheon but didn't have a chance.  It seemed wrong to tell P and not her so I made a point to call her a few days later and told her that that was neither the first nor last time I dressed like that.

She seemed confused, both by my motives and my behaviour (calling her, not a callback).  I used my favourite description, "it's something I do, sometimes."  She had no questions.  The call was brief.

The next day she sent me an e-mail saying that she knows how I like to kid around and was that the purpose of my call?  I sent her a couple of pictures and said "not kidding, sharing.  I feel I owe you the rest of the story, since all of the other parties know."

She was concerned that I didn't tell my wife I called her ~ I may, I may not.  It doesn't seem important.  But L followed up with an e-mail saying she felt like she was hiding something from my wife and we shouldn't talk or e-mail anymore.  I sent her a one line "as you wish" e-mail so she'll know I got it and that, as they say, is that.

If I knew that would be the final reaction, would I have said "yes, I'm kidding.  I know, it wasn't funny.  They can't all be home runs."?  No.  I'm going to be honest, let the chips fall where they may.  No more stories.


  1. Would L's reaction have been different if you'd explained that your wife is aware of Meg, even though she disapproves? It seems from her words ~ "she was hiding something from my wife" ~ that she believes your wife doesn't know Meg exists.

  2. "Two out of three ain't bad". 'Meatloaf ~ Bat out of Hell' 1976.

    Being your wife's friend as well as a therapist may have had her over thinking or over analyzing the situation. I would pass it off as 'no hare ~ no foul.


  3. Hi Meg
    Sorry to here that. Thats why I do not share with friends or family . - just wife.


  4. I know that this is a difficult thing to share, especially when like you we have a disapproving partner. But think about it you are in no worse a position than you were before, and indeed that's one less person you have to hide from or lie to anymore.


My day is brighter when I hear from my friends!