Rally Report Part I: Don't Ask, Don't Tell

I'm behind on life right now, but it was worth it. What it means to you is I'm going to be a bit slow writing about the rally. I've been scribbling notes, but they all have to come together. I am not a natural writer, so I can't just dash off a post, or a work document, or (much as I'd like) a book quickly and easily. I write, read, re-write, re-read, re-write. That's the minimum.

So I may have some filler (cartoons I like) over the next few days, but I'd also like to get the rally report underway.

This blog centers around two major events in my life. Many of you have similar events and understand that each can be exciting, fun, invigorating, life-changing, and scary as hell.

I'm talking about going out and coming out.

Even while I was putting my makeup on Saturday morning, I was thinking, "maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe I shouldn't do this" and I almost stopped and removed what I had on. I could have said "it just didn't come together." I got the feeling from J that she didn't really know what I had planned, although my wife had mentioned it to her. I think she expected it more to be signage or a witch's hat or something subtle. I'm not known for theatrics.

And although I felt I should have given P and J a heads-up, the conversation never went there. This meant I got to do An Entrance. That's for another day. This is a coming out post.

They were both surprised. Each commented separately about how comfortable I was. J mentioned my ease walking in heels a couple of times.

My wife's been surprisingly good about this. I owe her extra consideration in exchange. I didn't say "I go out a few times a year" mostly out of that consideration. The rest is because I didn't want to make this a day about me.

I did say "my balance is pretty good. I've done some yoga and standing on the toes of one foot with my eyes closed was easy. Besides, the heels are kinda chunky and not that high." J, who teaches yoga, was satisfied.

P would have gone to DC if I said "nothing's going on, but there will be lots of women there." It's kind of a hobby with him. OK, it's kind of an obsession with him. He's with the majority of the readers here, I'm sure.

Let me just say, it took P a while to get used to me.

He wasn't hostile. He wasn't indifferent. He wasn't comfortable.

P's normal mode is a mixture of mellow and anxious and one never knows which is going to take over. For instance, we were in a hurry to get out of the house ~ he took his time. After we got off the train, he rushed ahead to see where we were going (which gave me a chance to say "don't you hate it when the guys race ahead and leave us women behind?").

I'll get more into details over the next rally posts.

The key here is, neither asked. I didn't tell.

No-one said "have you done this before?" J assumed my wife did my makeup and commented on what a good job she did. I didn't correct her, although I considered it. P glumly asked if I "had stuff" in my purse. When I asked "like what?" He said "lipstick." I said "yes." He said "tampons." I said "at my age?" He proceeded to tell me J's bag opened yesterday and he proceeded to go through what fell out.

The way he said "lipstick" made me think "OK. Unless he gets more used to this idea, I am not going to touch up my lipstick/gloss later. I could feel the gloss wanted refreshing later, but it didn't get it. That's a small pleasure I passed by ~ I enjoy touching up my makeup.

It doesn't mean this won't get revisited, through e-mail or a phone call, but I consider it over.

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