What a Long Strange Trip It's Been

It's nice to know I'm not just writing for the black hole that is the internet.

Several people have written to say, basically, "what happened?" and I apologise for not saying something in advance.

So normally, life just kind of goes in predictable cycles and I go right along with it.  The last couple of weeks have been, well, different.

Monday, 27 April, Charity called me from work around 5, very upset.  A sister called.  Her father, who's been sick for a while, had taken a turn for the worse and she wanted to head to Alabama.
By the time she got home, I had a ticket on an 8pm flight to Birmingham, the closest airport.  She packed, I drove her to National, and she was in Alabama before midnight.

Why didn't I go?  At the time I really wanted to but now I'm glad I didn't.  It was a family affair; they spent a lot of time in hospital or making arrangements for her dad.  At the time I didn't go because I had committed to a full weekend in Hampton (2.5 hours away without traffic) with Number Two Son at the Technology Student Association.  I promised to drive him and three teammates down there and to judge a couple of events.

My big fear was that there would be a funeral over the weekend and I wouldn't be there to support Charity when she needed it.

There's no upside to any of this, but at least the timing worked out: he died on Friday (5-1-15).  The viewing wouldn't be until Monday and the funeral Tuesday.

The kids and I were stuck in traffic coming back on Sunday and I had to drop four kids off around the area.  By the time I got home it was after 8.  I unpacked, repacked, made a reservation for 6am the next day and 6pm return flights for Tuesday.  I got to BHM around 10 and we spent a few hours together before catching up with the family again.  She really had no "away" time for a week and seemed to need it.  We had some quiet time dining, shopping (she needed shoes), and getting manicures.


I only met her dad once.  He was ailing and weak but he showed me around his property, pointing out all of the different things that he was growing so he could can them.  Afterwards, he kind of had to rest up, but I thought I was pretty important that he'd put in that scarce energy to do that.  But now I think he'd do that for anyone.

Charity is doing better.  I did as short a day as I could on Wednesday when I found out she decided she needed to take the day off and I didn't want her to be alone.  Today is our fifth mensiversary... and we're still going strong!

Three notes: the cemetery was in a churchyard where they had the service (the town she grew up in is not quite a one-horse town but it is a one-hearse town: they recently got their second funeral home).  The service was run by three ministers, two southern Baptists who spoke a hundred miles an hour and used "father" the way other people would use "you know:" father, he's gone, father, to a better place, father, and although, father, his family father and friends, father, will miss him father...."  No exaggeration.  The third was with the VFW and did a graveside prayer.  There was also a singer who, during prayers, stood by the organ and took what I called the "heckler" role.  He punctuated each prayer with loud "Amen!"  "I hear you!"  "Yes!" and so on.

As a veteran he had a military presentation of the flag and taps.  Two soldiers wear dress whites, down to their white gloves, and move like mechanical men.  Taps is played flawlessly because it is a recording while the soldier mimes playing.  I don't mean to be disrespectful but I found it a poor climax to a nice service.

Finally, the next time you're flying think of this: I was on a 6am flight.  I caught a cab at 4am to get there on time.  At the gate, in front of me, was a couple and their three elementary school age kids.  They handed the woman at the gate their passes and she said "these are for the 6pm flight."  They turned around and walked away briskly without a word.  One of the adults had the worst day EVER, and your next trip won't be as bad as theirs.