What's In Your Wallet?

You might recall, I carry a large tote.  It's large enough for any kind of pad, legal or illegal.  I can also put my lunch in there and even bring my laptop home in it without carrying a separate laptop bag.

I purchased it used  about a year and a half ago, and it didn't last long.  I bought a new one that's not vinyl like the first one but serves the same purpose.

It's just as large.  It has a small zipped pocket in the front (outside) where I can put Things I Don't Want To Put In My Pockets, and a small zipped inside pocket for little miscellaneous items: lip balm or gloss, a few extra dollars, tissues, breath mints, cough drops.

I don't like carrying things in my pocket.  I have occasionally carried a traditional wallet, but things would escape and never return.  I'd pull out a credit card and it would sit in my pocket, happily ever after.  So the tote acts like auxiliary pockets.

What do I carry, between the tote and my pockets, that I really need to carry?

Keys.  I never used to carry keys, but for the apartment I have three.  I'm still looking for a nice, girly key ring.

Cards.  My credit cards, insurance cards, driver's license and such are in a little bulging Coach card

holder like in the picture to the right.

Cash.  I keep some cash, just in case.

Car fob.  Priuses (Prii?), like more new cars don't have a key.  You keep the fob in your pocket (or purse) and just grab the door to lock/unlock and push a button to start/stop.

Cel phone.

Cough drops.  Because I don't like to interrupt people by coughing.

A pen.  It might be "idea day."

That's a lot for pockets, but mostly the junk goes in coat pockets in cooler weather, and is shared with my tote at work.

So I might go to get coffee carrying only my phone and cash.  Or to the grocery store with my cards, fob, and phone.  Or to a meeting with cough drops (I HATE disrupting meetings!).

Sometimes, I wear women's slacks (my jeans are all from the other side of the aisle) and their pockets are smaller.  Even my wallet will often peek over the top of a pocket, and when I sit I'm worried that things will fall out.

What I want is some way to carry all of my essentials (and not-so-essentials) in one place, so I have everything and don't have to worry that I'm on line at the grocery store and my credit cards are in the tote in the car.

A purse would be ideal, but not suitable for all occasions.  I think you ladies know where I'm going with this.

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Dream Job

Andrej Pejic, who has been modelling (mostly) women's clothing for a few years now, has come out

as trans.  I'm not surprised.  I even commented a couple of years ago "what's she waiting for?  She's not fooling anyone."

So she's in a high-profile, well-paying profession where her job is to have people around her make her look beautiful for the runway, where she is supposed to exude femininity and sensuality.

Is there anyone else out there who thinks this would be a dream job, or is it just me?

There Goes the Weekend!

Pink fingers, gold toes

Saturday night, there were three local trans events: there was a "dance party" at a local restaurant ~ trans and civilians.  Some girls went to different clubs in DC, at different times.  I wanted to get out and decided the dress pictured here would be a great dress for any of the events.

Usually, the party is preceeded by dinner.  Not this time, and I was more interested in meeting some of the girls than meeting civilians, possibly admirers.  The earlier DC event was at the place I saw the drag show last month.  There would be no drag show (drag is on Sunday) and the food was OK but not special, so I skipped that too.  The other event started near midnight, and I didn't sleep well the night before.

So I skipped all three.  And I'm at a time in my "dressing career" when I can skip all three.

But I really wanted to wear that dress.  So it went with me to Fringe.  There were quite a number of women in dresses or skirts; mostly sundresses, but some were quite dressy for the event.  I don't think I was much out-of-place.

In all interactions, pronouns were proper, and I scored two "ladies," and one "dearie" (from a guy!) at Fringe.

I spoke to several people, including an elderly, slightly inebriated woman ordering a beer at the main tent ~ she ordered the same brand as I did, but she got the IPA and I got the lager.  I said "their lager's good, too," and she replied "I've always liked IPA's."  I said "lots of people do," her beer came and we parted.  It was just unexpected, like when someone speaks with an accent that doesn't match their appearance.

So I rode the Metro, got tickets, chatted a bit, enjoyed a couple of shows and came home.  It was similar to the last visit: uneventful.  I think the new normal is what I'm aiming for.  There's no stress, no expectations, and maybe if I didn't pass in someone's eyes they'll answer "yes" when asked if they've met any transgendered people.  Right now, only 8% do, although if we all decided to wear a sign that said "I'M TRANS," at the end of, say, a week, I bet the number would be closer to 100%.

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Guess Where I Was Yesterday?

Sunday Funnies: When in Doubt, Blazek

Happy birthday dad.  I miss you.

Cannons, 1 of 3

Cannons, 2 of 3

Cannons, 3 of 3

Just A Few Random

I'm just cleaning up my CD file.

I LOVE this one!

Name and A Dress

I've noticed I have lots of skirts I love but most of my tops I'm not that fond of.  So, to balance that out, I wear dresses most of the time.

At game day, I found a combination I liked and wore a top and skirt.  I think I should take every top I have out of my closet and lay them all down.  If I decide I won't wear one I will get rid of it.  I bet I bring half of my tops to the next clothing swap.

another pre-games pic

There's a line at the loo!

Game Day!

I'm getting more comfortable about game days.  In the past, I've wanted to know who's coming, and what their t-connection (if any) is.  For this visit, I didn't ask.  When I arrived, I did ask how many

Lull in the "Smallworld" action. 

would be there just because I was curious as to how many games would be playing simultaneously.  It turns out Star was expecting 15.  There were civilian couples, one kid, one baby, another transgirl.
A group of five of us played Smallworld, a strategy game.  A sixth joined us to play Telestrations, which we played so we could sync with another game (King of Tokyo, I think) and then split off for game three (Kingdom Builder, another strategy game; I stayed mostly with the same group as the Smallworld players, although Charity split off to play the other major game).  I like playing games I've never played before, but with strategy games that always puts me at a disadvantage.  I don't play for blood though.

The child among us wanted to play a more party game, so we finished with Say Something.  Like Telestrations, it is a party game.  I had a nice chat with the (9 year old?) girl who was there.

It's always nice to be in a group of non-judgmental people of any age.  I do enjoy this group!

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Simple Pleasure ~ Overwhelmed!

I cannot believe the number of books, articles, op-eds, and events I am seeing relating to trans-issues.  Some are good, some are bad, some are empowering, some are scary, some show the writer's ignorance, but the fact that our visibility is increasing exponentially is definitely a good thing.

The haters are still there, but there are more and more "who cares?" people out there now, and more

New top, new skirt!

and more "here's something good about transfolk" stories.  I still see stupid headlines like "Man Stabbed by Crossdresser" but I expect it won't be long before enough people take umbrage and it goes the way of headlines like "Man Stabbed by Negro."
The "overwhelmed" comes in because I like to try to sometimes post links to relevant articles here.  There are so many, that would now be a full-time job, both my writing and your reading.  I already have a couple of full-time jobs, and don't have room for another.

I'll try to catch the best (and worst) and post them, but I'm sure a lot will slip through my fingers and I've had to cull whole areas, like growing up trans ~ there are a LOT of kids with accepting parents who want what's right for their children but they're in unchartered territory.  I'm fascinated but... it's that full-time job thing.

It's good that it's overwhelming and the haters are becoming a smaller voice.  Soon they'll be just the KKK and neo-nazi fringe types.  I know they'll never be gone, but the future looks bright.

The photo to the right is from last weekend's game day.

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Meanwhile, Back at the Fringe....

(note to ezs: I saw your comment.  I'd be happy to look at your blog, but the address is wrong)

 I mentioned "Tame" as a show to miss.  The next two that we saw were better.

The first was "Bethesda," which I had seen reviewed and it sounded interesting.  Plus, Bethesda is just over the bridge in Maryland.  It was a family drama, well acted and well scripted.  My only complaint is, the scene kept changing from Bethesda to Central America and they'd always have the same South-of-the-Border music playing during the scene changes.  I would have liked for the music to cue me as to where the scene will be next.  Bethesda is playing tonight, tomorrow, and Saturday.

After the show, we were standing in the lobby of the Goethe Institut.  Both the second and third plays were there, but on different stages.  That's where I congratulated one of the actors on the fine show.

Mostly, I'm a fan of comedy, and comedies abound at Fringe, but these were two dramas.  The final show was a one-woman show called "A Lesbian Belle Tells."  Elizabeth McCain, a now-local woman who grew up in small-town Mississippi, tells about her southern family and how both she and they came to terms with her lesbianism.  It was interesting, touching, funny, and enlightening and I really enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would.  I mean, for a straight Yankee.  Charity (not only from small-town Alabama ~ she actually knew some of the same people Elizabeth knew) enjoyed it a lot more.  In fact, I noticed something funny: she'd talk and there would be laughter, either from her telling of the story or from recognition, but different groups.  After a while, I could recognise the lesbians, southerners, and, um, "others."

She does her show at venues other than Fringe, where she has two more shows.  If you go, say hi after the show and tell her Meg and Charity sent you. :)

And you can find her on her facebook page.

One more note....  Last year we saw a show called "Caberet XXXY" from Pinky Swear Productions.  It was original, funny, and I had a great (drab) time.  I wanted to see it because I thought there might be a t-connection from the letters.  It turns out they have a three woman troupe and a guy joined for that year's show.  This year they're doing "Caberet XXX: Everybody F*cking Dies" and I hope I get a chance to see one of the remaining four shows.

Get out and enjoy the Fringe.  I guarantee if you're going out dressed you won't be the most outrageous person there.  In fact, people might ask what show you're doing. :)

And I also guarantee you'll love the shows.  Or not.  Hey, it's fringe.  It's kinda mixed.  If you want a boilerplate blockbuster go to Broadway.

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Apparently, It's a Thing

"One-Legged Pants" are new to me.

From Buzzfeed:

One-Legged Pants Are A Thing

Perhaps it should just be a called a “pant,” but don’t you ever call it a skirt! This post is dedicated to the industrial goths who are awesome at dancing.

and you could find them at Hot Topic except they're out of stock.

So maybe this is the key to skirts being accepted as long as young Rayne's interpretation stays hidden ~ although I'd rather wear the "one-legged pants" he's wearing than the ones above.

Rockit Man

You may have noticed I gravitate to a group of comics, such as Loose Parts, Mother Goose and Grimm, Ink Pen, and of course Tim Rickard's Brewster Rockit.  I'd probably post a lot of Bizarro but that strip fell off my radar several years ago and it never made it back.  Someday I'll catch up (says Tom historically*).

A quick preview: yesterday was game day.  Pictures and report will start tomorrow (says Tom predictably*).

Here's Brewster!  Click to enlarge.

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* if you don't get the "says Tom..." look up Tom Swifties.  It's a thing.

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Just a Bit More Cat

Dani, who's way more talented than me at things like this created her own Saturday-friendly Garfield cartoons:

The blog post that accompanied it is here.  A year later she followed it with:

Again, her post can be found here.  (In that post, Dani has a dead link to the source cartoon; if you're interested you can find it here.)

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Fringe Benefits

I spoke with a number of people on Fringe Day.  A couple were just random people either talking to me or me talking to them.  Most were people who either had to interact with me or were talking to everyone.

The first I can recall was someone who was at the entrance to one of the shows.  I thought that was

All around the water tank
waitin' for a train

where we get our tickets, and asked.  He said it was around the block, on the other side, so off we went.  We had already walked at least a half-dozen blocks, and now we had to backtrack a bit.

The next was a man handing out postcards plugging his show while I was on line waiting to get my tickets.  I also spoke with a couple of other people on line, just to pass the time.  I chatted with the person giving us our tickets, and went to the ladies' room there (single seater but the door didn't lock so I was ladylike).

We walked to the theatre, gave up our tickets, found seats.  I don't recall if I spoke to anyone before the show; I know I spoke with one or two people while waiting for the doors to open at different shows; after one show, we waited to go to another show at another stage in the same building.  After confirming that the teenage boy leaving was indeed one of the main cast members I tapped him on the shoulder and told him how much I enjoyed the show.

On the street, a man stopped us to try to get us to donate to the SPLC.  It's a worthwhile organisation, but I don't trust people I meet on the street like that.  He made a point of mentioning that they help gays; he made a point of not mentioning trans.  Or maybe he just conflated them; many people still do.

We ordered lunch at Fuddruckers; I tried to make a point of chatting a bit with people who Had No Choice but to talk to me ~ ticket takers, cashier, and so on.

I saw someone on the street who I'm pretty sure was trans as well.  She just walked past us; we walked past her.

After the last show, "A Lesbian Belle Tells," the monologist was returning to the stage to do a Q&A.  An impromptu receiving line appeared, and I joined to tell her how much I enjoyed her show.  She, not surprisingly, thanked me but I think I saw a bit of surprise on her face.  I think community members (and I'm reluctantly merging LGB with T) are more... something.  Aware maybe? of other community members.

Nobody cared that I might not be what I seemed.  No questions, no funny looks, no remarks or odd tones....  It gets easier (except I do need to remember the dozens of mannerisms, and especially my voice, at all times).  I do need to loosen up; it's against my nature but much more feminine.

It was... uneventful.

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Uneventful

Before I start, Rhonda wanted to know why I don't talk about the fringe until it's over.

It's Not Over.

The DC Fringe festival runs through 27 July.  There are others in other cities; the googles are helpful.

I'll be back once or twice before it's over.

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So my fringe visit was... Uneventful.

Uneventful meal

Riding the metro ~ uneventful.

The first stop is Fort Fringe where you get your admission buttons and possibly tickets.  I got my tickets and buttons.  I chatted a bit with someone in line.  I went to the ladies'.  The first show was not very good.  You can live a full and happy life if you skip "Tame," the Fringe version of "Taming of the Shrew."

The other shows were better.  More tomorrow.

After the show, we were stopped by someone who said he was soliciting donations for the Southern Poverty Law Center.  He mentioned specifically that they support "poor gays" but didn't mention specifically transgender.  Being a skeptic, we passed.

From there, we walked a bit to fill the two hours between shows.  We watched a brass band which seemed to spontaneously appear at the entrance to Chinatown, looked at a couple of restaurants but decided to backtrack and grab a meal at Fuddruckers.

Uneventful.  If anyone noticed either of us, I didn't notice anyone noticing either of us.

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Simple Pleasures ~ Dressing to Go

I often bring leftovers to work.  I wouldn't mind keeping mustard or ketchup or horseradish at work so I could add a bit of flavour to a dry sandwich without making the bread soggy or to spice up some roast beef, for example.  The problem is, I can't keep bottles of condiments at my desk and the only refrigerators are kind of crowded.  Last weekend, we picked up little containers, 2-3 times the size of the ones you'd put ketchup into at fast food places.  The top screws on and hopefully will safely make it to work.

They're called "dressing to go," which is, of course, what I do every chance I get.  So it seems like an ideal match.

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Layers for Warmth

I wear layers.  Layers on my body, layers on my face.

Over bra and panties I often wear a padded panty; pantihose with close-toed shoes; a waist cinch and

Still working on the Art of the Selfie

camisole, or shaping camisole; sometimes a slip; and finally a dress or top and skirt.

That's a lot of layers for an upper-80s summer day, like last Saturday.

Plus wigs are warm and breast forms are warm and nylon or other silky panties are warm.

Charity suggested I plan for the heat.

There's nothing I can do about the wig or forms but she suggested cotton panties and skipping everything but those and my bra under the dress.

It felt weird at first, but I think new clothing experiences is a part of dressing.

So visiting the Fringe festival was "Meg-light." 

But I was still perspiry hot.

And I enjoyed three shows and had a great time.

The picture here is at "Fort Fringe," pretty much everybody's starting point.  Just to my left is a photo of me, pre-shaving.   Yes, it takes a lot of time to get ready!

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At the Fringe with the Fringe on Top

Happy Bastille Day, all you Francophiles!

Last Thursday I mentioned that wigs is hot.  Saturday I proved it.

I skipped Folklife in DC because I'd be out all day in the heat.  I decided to treat (?) Meg to a hot day out and went to the Fringe Festival.  For the uninitiated, Fringe originated in Edinburgh Scotland and has spread to many cities in Europe and the US.  I'm not sure about other countries.

Fringe consists of a large number of performances.  You pay by show (in DC it's $17 per seat and discounts are available.  And you have to have a $7 button, good for all performances and discounts at local retailers/restaurants).

There are comedies, dramas, musicals, one man shows, ensembles, stand-up, dance, adult shows and family shows.  Most shows are between one and two hours long.  Most are between wonderful and godawful.

Here I am pre-hitting-the-metro.

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Sunday Funnies: More Garfield

If you want to enjoy Garfield again, just go to Garfield Minus Garfield.  It's a very meta look on Garfield.

Here are some more from the last millennium:

Everybody Wants to Get Into The Act!

Even Garfield.  Click to enlarge.

Thinking Of Retiring?

Consider Gresham, Oregon.  It sounds promising, but I'm always suspicious of things that lump T with LGB.  The article, which focuses on the T issues, begins:

At retirement community for gay and transgender, 81-year-old man feels free for first time

 The article begins:

 PORTLAND, OR (KPTV) -

At age 81, Dennis Creamer is leading a new life.
For all but the last 15 years, Creamer suppressed his desire for men and his desire to cross-dress -- it wasn't until he moved to the Rainbow Vista Senior Living Center in Gresham two years ago that he felt free.
"It is really the first time to be myself, my inner self," Creamer said.
Rainbow Vista is operated by and for gay and transgender men and women.
Creamer, whose closet is filled half with men's clothes, half with women's clothes, sometimes dresses as Dennis and other times as Dee.
At Rainbow Vista, no one cares how he dresses, he says.

 A video accompanies the article.  The website for the community can be found here.

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Wigs Is Hot

and so is Washington.

I went to the Folklife festival in DC last weekend, but the 90+ degree heat and high humidity meant I had to leave Meg at home.

I think I need to find a wig that breathes better, or I need to find more indoor events.

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Simple Pleasure ~ Hashtag

"Always" has an ad campaign to take away the stigma of doing things (running, fighting, throwing) "like a girl."  They're asking people to post pictures of girls doing things that are not being done like a girl and using the hashtag likeagirl.

I think we should run with that and post pictures of us just living our lives likeagirl.

I think that would be fun and give our community a bit of exposure.

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The Bigger Picture

Yesterday, I took exception at a small comment from Catie Maye's PR note about her book "Men Can Wear Dresses Too".  A comment by Sally Bend:

I got the chance to review Catie's book for the current issue of Frock. Some genuinely funny moments, and some really thoughtful ones as well - I identified so very well when Catie's wife talked about how the dressing itself wasn't a problem, but the secrecy of it.

reminded me I was being unfair.  I didn't read the book yet, so I thought I'd try to find her review.

I didn't, but I found two others, both positive.  Please take a moment to read the reviews by Nikki Nicole in tgforum, or the brief one by Amos Lassen.  And Sally posted a customer review on Amazon.

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Picking Bones

Let me start by saying I love it when a sister writes a book.  There are a few good autobiographies of MtF transsexuals, fewer from crossdressers.  I was pointed at a fairly new book by a crossdresser and I may grab a copy.

So far, all I've seen is the same PR note.  Here's a link to one.  The headline (always) reads

Author Catie Maye Enjoys Wearing Dresses, Is Proud of It in 

'Men Can Wear Dresses Too'

Feel free to read the blurb.  You can also find a snippet from the book on Amazon and Google books.

It's self-congratulatory (no surprise) but the following really bothers me:

"Everybody has the right to be different," Maye believes. "Those men who cross dress are just exercising their right to be different."

Really?  Is that what we're doing?  I've never heard a t-friend say "I wear a dress to exercise my right to be different."  I've heard a dozen different reasons, but that has never been one of them.

As I said, I may grab a copy.  I mean, just to be different.

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Sunday Funnies: Remeber Garfield?

Jim Davis' Garfield has a problem.  In my opinion, it suffers from the disease Larson and Watterson avoided: it has gone on too long.

I have probably the first twenty Garfield books.  I've shared them with my kids, who enjoyed them.

Garfield used to be funny.  That was back in the previous millennium, which is where these cartoons came from.